We all have a plan A. Wouldn’t it be great in life if everything that we ever planned for just happened the way we wanted it to? In reality there are many other factors that affect our plan A. If your plan is totally in your control, chances are that your plan A will actually work without many hiccups. Most of our plan A’s involve someone else’s contribution. This is probably one of the most frustrating things that I am still working on myself, as far as acceptance.
Expectations
First of all we ALL have them. We all have those times where we are excited about something or see the perfect outcome and you assume that others should have that same view. It is hard for us to accept this fact and can often lead to hurt feelings and self-doubt. This is not to say that the person doesn’t have a similar viewpoint to yours, it means that they are coming from a different angle that’s all.
If we are all being honest, we desire to control the outcome which raises expectations and often leads to judgement and skewed observations. Validation of what you are feeling is often associated with expectations.
You control you and only you
I seriously can NOT write this enough! Everyone in your life right now has free will. Free will means that we are free to make whatever decisions we choose. Some of those will be good choices and some may not be. If you make a choice that brings you regret, you simply learn whatever lesson there is to be learned and refocus on direction that you want to take.
When you realize that you can control your reaction to other people versus trying to control them, you will live a much more peaceful life. There are six degrees of separation and often less. The theory is that every living is six steps away from each other. Facebook gives you some insight to this as well. When you see how many mutual friends you have with someone it can be both exciting and scary to know that you know some of the same people. The whole “Be careful what you say to someone” is something that should be taken seriously. Never assume that there is no way that someone across the world could know that you are speaking of them.
How do you just go with the flow?
You need to learn to let go of control and learning to surrender. There is a great quote:
“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli
I say this ALL the time! The more you think you are in control the less you are. I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that this is something I have to practice daily and still struggle with. I am however more aware of it and acknowledge that this is one hurdle that I have to continue to work on.
You have two choices and two choices only. You can be stressed and try to control other people and situations, or you can control your part and do what you need to do while keeping communication flowing.
Know your worth
The biggest part of being able to go with the flow is to know your worth! If you are coming from a place of love and positivity then you have to set a standard for yourself. This is not considered an expectation, it is knowing what you deserve. I think it is totally fair to set the standards for yourself high and surround yourself with people who feed that energy.
My rule of thumb is that if something or someone is making your unhappy more than happy then you really need to evaluate whatever that situation is. How does it feed your soul? What are you afraid of if you change it? These are all inner peace tools that I use on a daily basis.
Stop chasing situations and people
Chasing another situation or person that you find to drain and exhaust you is going to break your spirit. If you are being genuine and from an amazing place then you need to make sure that whatever situation you are facing is an equal partner. Stop trying to change or control people, that will only lead to disappointment.
Fall in love with yourself
You MUST fall in love with yourself in order to know what you deserve from friends, family and lovers. How can you set a standard if you don’t even know what that standard is for yourself? There is no secret that I love myself 100% most of the times. I am a human being so of course I have days where I am at 80%, I just give myself a little more love and acceptance on those days.
Once you know how awesome you are, you will find that your expectations, insecurities and doubts will not only diminish, but it will allow you to go with the flow at least 90% of the time.
xoxo Lori
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