Born intuitive and sensitive to spirit and energy and working as a life healer/coach, medium and emotional counselor gave me the illusion that I was zen. Little did I know that the journey ahead would not only open me wider than I ever have been, but would soon teach me that while I was connected, I was only partially on my path all these years.
The shaman path is not something you just try, it is a life long commitment that you signed up for long before you were born. It just took me almost 48 years to realize that everything that I had always thought I was missing in my spiritual practice was just sitting there on the sidelines waiting for me to call upon it.
I have known many shaman practioners and have called on them for many years. One such shaman I reached out to about a personal matter — a situation in which I was struggling to find peace. He instantly said that I needed to speak to his master mentor to help me get through this specific situation. She reached out to me and once we began talking, it was as if all of my guides were cheering that the connecting was finally made. We continued to speak over the next few weeks and I quickly came to realize something she knew the entire time: I was ready to embrace my shaman journey in which I had chosen before birth.
Once spirit confirmed to her that she was meant to be my mentor, we began to go on the journey to receive rites. She gave me a few days prior to my first spiritual session with her, to change my mind or move into what I was destined to do. She was very honest in saying it would be the hardest thing I ever did. I heard her tell me that and was pretty sure that with my spiritual work that I do, I would be ok. I soon learned that it would be the hardest journey spiritually I would ever have. So I eagerly told her a few days later that I was ready to roll!
Reality hit me right away.
I seriously only half listened to her when she told me that it would be hard. There are nine rites that you must receive in order to become shaman. Its not as easy as learning a bit of lingo, doing homework and meditation. There are many aspects of what I went through that must always remain sacred and not shared. I will tell you that after 30 days into my training I was pretty sure I was dying. I went to the heart doctor and my panic disorder was the worse that it had ever been. So bad, in fact , that for over two weeks, I felt I couldn’t breathe. In some ways it was death. All shaman who I have spoken with, all have some form of a similar story of being taken to the edge of life. If not for the few of my friends who knew I was on this journey, my master mentor, family, and shaman friends, I am not sure that I could have continued. I never really considered quitting since I signed up for this for a lifetime. My mentor even asked me if I needed a week or so off from training to give my body a break. I decided to power through and continue to work through each rite.
Why is this so hard!
I am pretty sure my few friends were just about to block my number for the first 40 days. I am forever grateful for the unconditional support and reminder that I signed up for this 48 years ago and needed to get my shit together. “Why is it so hard?”, was the question that I kept asking myself, only to realize that it was so hard because I was healing. I mean it makes sense right? Shamans are healers and in order to be a healer, you have to heal. I guess I was seriously in need of more healing than I thought! My poor husband kept telling me, you are breathing just fine, and yes I did want to smother him at times for brushing it off.
My mentor mentioned to me very early on that my relationships would change. Not could change, but undoubtably WOULD change. Once again, I didn’t realize exactly how right she was (I hear her reading this and saying “I told you”).
I had felt pretty disconnected in many of my friendships and even my marriage. The amount of introspective work that comes with this journey is not for everyone. Its a bitter pill to swallow when you are forced to reevaluate friendships, marriage, and most importantly yourself.
It was as if a veil was lifted in my life and my relationships that were meant to be solid were bright and obvious. My marriage and communication with my husband became better because I wasn’t trying to control situations, and made it energeticly comfortable for him to open up and really thrive in our growth.
My friends who support me came in the form of old friends and many new ones who I met in my life healing practice. There are no words to describe the value in which they have brought to my life.
I am no where near done!
I have never been more embracive of something in my life. I love that it enhances my current practice and allows me to go forward and get my reiki master training. It has made each session I do with my clients take on a whole new meaning. I not only can help them from the abilites I was given at birth, but now with the assistance of my ancestors.
As I come upon my full initiation, I will continue on to one day become a master mentor myself. I know that I have only started on the yellow brick road with a life long journey ahead of me. I have a long and joyous journey ahead of me and I am embracing it more and more everyday. This journey is, and always has been, for me personally, and allows me to share my healing with others.
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8 thoughts on “My journey to shaman”
I have to say that I am truly honored to be working with you now. Not just for what you see, but for what you are teaching me to see and feel. Yes, some days are more difficult, but I can feel myself getting stronger, and for that, I Thank You and look forward to being a part of your journey.
Thank you for the amazingly kind words. I am grateful to be on your journey xoxo
Although I don’t see you as much as I use to I think of you often and cherish all the guidance you have given me. I hope know that school will be over for awhile i can come and catch up. So proud of your accomplishments. You are truly amazing ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks love. The amazing thing is that I will be seeing you once school is out and I can do things remotely too 🙂
After meeting you; I was thinking what a gift AND I was also thinking, I know I couldn’t handle it. You made a HUGE impact (positive) in my and my daughter’s lives and I thank you for your journey to grow and continue to educate me and others on what you do; what your struggles are as it puts it all in perspective that you are much like us and want to not only get through this life, but rock it and continue to learn. You are an inspiration.
Thank you so much for the continued support. One can not heal others until they are honest with the healing they themselves need 🙂
Thank you for sharing your new journey and blessings to your continued learning. I am so
looking forward to seeing you later this month and learn what I need to do for healing and
getting a better understanding of myself and my life!!!
You are awesome and you never cease to amaze me. What an incredible person and an even more incredible journey. I’m so proud of you and proud to call you ‘friend.’ Much love, girl!