What are opinions?
The dictionary says that an opinion is a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. So why do we allow what other people think of us bother us so much? Opinions are not based on anything other than what one person feels is right.
It starts with approval and the need to have validation for how you feel, We want them to show us that in fact how we feel or the decisions we are making are the right ones. This can stem from early childhood when we seek approval from our parents, siblings and teachers. If someone agrees with you, it gives you the ability to go forward with whatever decisions you are making with a level of certainty. We usually do align ourselves with like-minded people who have similar view points, morals and lifestyles. The saying “Your vibe attracts your tribe” is a true thing.
What if they don’t approve?
We all have free will in life to think however we want to think and do whatever we want to do. The problem arises when other people start judging and labeling you or your actions as wrong or bad. We view this as if they disagree or disapprove of us. You end up trying to please everyone and look for validation that what you are doing is correct.
This is where we begin to lose who we truly are. We start trying to please people and conform to what they feel is right for us. Here is where your dreams, desires and personality starts to fade. You have given others entirely way too much power over you. You assume other people know what is the best for you, here is where you are now officially lost.
So now you start living on someone else’s terms and not your own. No one should ever hold this much power over you, like ever. Everyone has their own version of what right is. At some point or another in our lives people will not agree with what we are doing. Not everyone will like you or want to align themselves with you and that is perfectly fine. It is all about quality of energy around you, not quantity.
Only your opinion matters to you
Who really gives a damn what someone thinks of them? I used to worry about what people thought of me and if they were talking about me. It used to bug me if I heard from someone that someone thought a certain way of me. Then I took back control of my own life after doing my life healing journey the last three years. The biggest thing that I learned on my journey is the people who have negative opinions of you are the ones that have issues with themselves. This doesn’t mean I am above anyone, but it does mean that no one has control over me based on their opinion of me and my actions. It is empowering to start living for you and getting on the correct path for your jouney.
When we get wrapped up in other people’s opinions, we are often giving into our own insecurities. We are putting the fears and doubts in whatever situation or choice onto someone else. We are giving them the power to validate your insecurities. We allow their voices to act as a bullhorn for our own uncertainty.
Self-Esteem is the key
Self-Esteem is the key to mental health all across the board in my opinion. When we suffer from low self-esteem we fall into depression, anxiety and doubt. If our self esteem is low, someone having a negative opinion is absolutely going to tear you down. There is an awesome book that helps with understand and development of your self esteem.
NEWS FLASH!! we are all on our own journey in life. This means that not everyone we meet is going to be a key player on that journey. People are put in our lives for a reason, season or lifetime. This also means that if someone is not on the same path as you they are not wrong, just on a different path which obviously means a difference of opinion. You know those people who have an opinion on EVERYTHING? You will never ever change them nor should you try. This does not mean they are wrong, just perhaps not a good fit for your journey. I covered that a bit in the holding grudges blog I did.
My entire career is helping people find who they are and how to start living their life for themselves. I had to go through a lot of my own insecurities and personal demons to get to the point to where I can honestly say that I am comfortable providing these types of session to my clients.
Shut the Fu** up!
If I could tattoo this on my forehead and not look like a complete idiot I would have. I would walk around throwing frisbees at people telling them to just shut the fu** up. How much wasted energy would go into that though? All that negativity that I allowed people to inflict in my world consumed all the positive energy that I needed to give to myself and others. YOU CAN NOT CHANGE SOMEONE PERIOD. If your opinion differs from someone then you need to just accept that you have those differences and focus on what you need to be doing for you! Good grief, the only person that matters at the end of the day is you.
Set boundaries! I have set energetic boundaries and will never allow negative energy into my energy field again. The opinions of what someone thinks of me is not longer an issue or even a thought. My energetic space needed boundaries in a big way and I set them in stone. I cleansed my social media of negativity and will promptly remove anything negative. I don’t give life to gossip (venting with friends is totally different) about someone or allow someones opinion of me that may be negative to interfere with my ultimate life goal.
We all have a short time in this veil and we need to live it to the best of our ability. We need to find our own purpose and not what someone thinks our purpose should be.
My purpose is to be in harmony with the universe and myself while providing guidance to others through the intense journey I have taken to get here. If people don’t agree then so be it, it has no hold on me or my journey. Set boundaries, gain your voice, chase your dreams, make your own decisions and most importantly live your life for you. In the end, someones opinion of you doesn’t pay your bills or show your worth.
Now get your shi* together and start living your life for you. What other people think of you is none of your business.