I try to live a positive life and practice a mind, body and spirit connection daily, but there are days that I am annoyed or frustrated with situations or people. This is totally normal, so for me to advise you to never vent would be completely ridiculous.
There is a big difference however in venting versus complaining.
Complaining is something that we all do from time to time, but when it becomes part of your daily life, and as easy as saying hello, then you have a problem. Complaining about everything and every situation can cause your mental health to deteriorate. How can you be positive and yet complain constantly? Talk about throwing a bunch of garbage out into the universe and expecting some awesome result.
Like attracts like. Nothing prolific here but a simple, powerful and true statement. You complain all the time, there is a great chance that you will attract a lot of complainers around you that often have all the answers but no solutions.
Complaining automatically puts your state of mind in a negative place. On Facebook almost every single Monday there is a meme that says “Oh No Its Monday Again” That already sets your day in motion for a completely crap day.
While you are complaining about it being Monday again, you clearly are not grateful that you have another Monday to see. Sure you may have to get the kids to school and you need to head to work, but the fact that you can even read this blog is a thing to be grateful for. So yes its Monday again and you have to start a new week, congratulations on seeing another Monday.
The key to a peaceful way of living has many different modalities attached to it, but being thankful is number one. In my line of work I see so many serious situations that the small stuff that people complain about is so meaningless. Gratitude is something that you should always start your day with. Everyday is not a walk in the park or a sprinkle of unicorn dust, but it is a new day to change something different then the day before.
So the next time Monday rolls around, start your morning being thankful that you are seeing another Monday.
This is actually healthy as long as you don’t walk that line of complaining. I am so lucky to have a few great friends that really let me vent a lot..like a whole lot. My best friend is a nurse so she gets a lot of “What does this mean” and “Should I worry about this” I have other friends that I can vent to and I don’t feel like I have to censor what I say. While you get to know me through the blogs and vlogs, you will find out pretty quickly that censoring is something I don’t do.
Imagine having to hold all the things that bother you in and tell nobody? You would be a miserable mess and have a crazy amount of anxiety. We all need a healthy venting session that allows us to get our feelings and frustrations out.
Be Cautious Of Your Audience
If you get nothing else out of this blog, take this advice! When you are venting, be conscious of who you are venting to. I have told you on several occasions that not everyone holds your best interest at heart. When you vent, sometimes you are in the heat of the moment and don’t think too clearly on who your venting to. In some cases you are simply giving them more ammunition to use again you at a future time.
If you have to ask someone to not say anything then perhaps that is NOT the person you need to be venting to! How do you know who to vent to? Well, unfortunately that can often be a lesson learned from a previous venting session. Your true friends and family that you can trust will often have a huge and I mean huge book of your secrets that could be a tell all book. The reason they have this book is because you can truly trust that your private words will remain in their tell all book and locked away forever.
Unless you have a solution to a complaint then perhaps instead of complaining, you should focus more on the solution.
Gratitude for the win!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This is the infamous time of the year where we all decide we are going to be the best person we can be. We think of all the things that we didn’t accomplish the past year and decide that everything we want will begin to change on the first day of the New Year. The whole concept of banking to change or start everything on the any day is setting yourself up to feel overwhelmed and defeated. The first week of your new changes are awesome! You are motivated and excited to embark on this whole new you. That is just way too stressful for me, and honestly, is just too much pressure to be successful.
Now, of course, we all have things that we want to change or improve on; so how do we establish a successful way to achieve these changes?
When setting goals, you want to make sure that what you want to achieve is something that is attainable. When you say things like, “I need to lose weight”, or “I want to be a better person”, with no direction on how to accomplish it, then you really are setting yourself up to fail. The saying, “Failing to plan is planning to fail” really is true.
When you set your goals, one of the first things that you need to do is just write. Don’t worry about format, spelling or punctuation. Write or make a list of all of the things that you want to improve on. Nothing on that list is trivial because it is your list and important to you. Make sure that these are YOUR goals and no one else’s.
We are often told what we need to do or what is expected of us. and sometimes we start believing it. Take time to really figure out what is important to YOU. No one can tell you what goals you need to meet. If they are not your goals, then your not going to be passionate about changing them. Three months later you just figure that you failed that resolution. That is not a failure since it wasn’t really your goal in the first place, so take your time and analyze what you really want to make a goal.
Once that list is completed, you want to take each one of those goals and make a sub-category list of the steps that you will need to take to achieve that ultimate goal. This really does help you understand that by taking baby steps towards your end goal is the only real way to success.
DON’T OVERDO IT
Do not make some crazy list of 25 things that you want to change. Take the three or four major things you want to improve and make those few things the goals for the year.
Honestly you should have goals daily, weekly, monthly and yearly. Everyday you should strive to be the best version of you that you can be but keep in mind that these changes will not happen overnight.
Start the New Year realistic and positive, set your goals! Click the link below for the YouTube video 🙂
In the morning before I even consider getting out of bed, I make sure to list the things that I am thankful for and set my affirmations. Of course I also make an Insta-story post to motivate my followers, usually with a filter as to not totally freak everyone out with my beautiful but a bit disheveled morning look.
We often take things like waking up and popping out of bed for granite. When you send the abundance of gratitude off to the universe, then you are ready to get out of bed. PALEASE do not say you don’t have the time; that is quite frankly a pretty crappy excuse. This is an easy process for all of us that do that on a daily basis, but there are many people who aren’t really sure how to incorporate this practice into their daily routine.
I personally think that if I have something pretty to write in that it makes me happier to do it. I recommend getting some kind of journal or book that will encourage you to write. This is not to be confused with your journal that you write your daily routine and stressors in. An affirmation or gratitude journal is for positive things only! You should always have two journals that allow you to separate your thoughts.
You know how you have all these things in your head that swirl around and represent some happy parts of your day, and some that are stressful? The gratitude journal will give you the ability to go back on days that you are feeling sad or unmotivated and see that there are so many amazing things that you are grateful for.
I recommend writing down all of things in your life that you are grateful for. I mean seriously everything that you can think of. There is nothing too small to be grateful for…ever!
There is a good book by Janice Kaplan called “Gratitude Diaries”, that is a pretty good guide to understanding gratitude. If you are an active Amazon shopper (they do rule all of my shopping needs), then you can just click the picture and it will take you over to the book.
We live in a world where we get so wrapped up in what we are stressed about and lose focus of the abundance of blessings that we are surrounded by. Take a few minutes each day to be thankful, it can change your view on your life.
We live in a world where we all seem to need a certain amount of validation for what we do or share. Social media is now such an important part of most of our lives that we need to often feel validation for a thought, picture, video or article.
Let me first start by saying as a person that uses social media for almost every aspect of their business and brand that validation is very important to me. I have however learned that its really the quality of the like not the quantity. What does that mean exactly? When we post on any main social media platform we like to see who likes or comments on our post. This in itself causes no damage to you whatsoever and is nice to see someone with tons of influence acknowledge your work. The problem is when you put entirely too much stock in people that you know liking what you post or needing to have a certain number of followers to validate your social media.
Quality is going to be the most important part of your social media game. My goal of course is to build my brand and actually be one of those influencers, but I am not going to get there overnight. Let’s first start by going through some of the main reasons why people may not like your post.
What is your content and is it relevant to what someone likes? My personal brand is all about positivity, animals, life healing, public speaking, life coaching and plant based living. If I post a recipe or do a vlog on something that does not interest someone then why would they like it?
I have so many friends who hunt or have hunters in their family. They know I live a plant based lifestyle and have a personal viewpoint on hunting so why would I like a picture of a dead animal. This does not mean I do not like them or angry with what is posted, it means that I simply don’t want to like something that I don’t resonate with.
Some people never every post anything but seem to know just about everything that is going on around them. I am all about the pictures and articles and even vlogs that I do but not everyone views social media as an important part of their life. Some people are just seriously private and would rather be informed of day-to-day stuff or news then to post it. So don’t take it personal when someone mentions something to you about a picture or something that you post but yet never actually hit the like button.
NOSEY AND GOSSIPING
Anyway you spin it there will always be people who just want to see what you’re doing. They are in your outer circle or sometimes you don’t know them at all. If you look at Radar Online or TMZ and read an article on one of the stories, head down the comment list and read the comments. Pretty sure just about 99.9% of the people commenting do not know the people personally but have no problem expressing their opinion.
That is pretty much what you open yourself up to when you post anything on social media. You will always have people who say they like or support you but really only want to see what you post so they can talk about it. So just know that the social media world will always have people that are just there to watch and report. That just comes with the territory. DO NOT LET THESE PEOPLE BRING YOUR ENERGY DOWN. You do not want or need any of these type of people to like your posts or pics.
HOW DO I NOT GET CONSUMED WITH SOMEONE LIKING MY STUFF?
- DO NOT GET CONSUMED WITH QUANTITY
Sooo this is one that is the most difficult for someone like myself that is building a brand. We want numbers and quantity so we can be validated with a little blue check on Twitter or Instagram. You need quantity for sure but you want to make sure that you have the quality of people liking your posts before you worry too much about quantity.
- POST FOR YOU
I post things that make ME happy. I post fun things that I like to see on my social media. Your pages are YOUR pages!! The concept of the whole media game is really to post stuff that makes you happy and if someone else likes it then they have the option of liking it. Unless you are building a brand and trying to attract business, you do not need another human being to like something to validate you.
I hate to state the obvious here but just because someone likes your post does not define you in any way shape or form. If you are relying on validation in the form of a like then you are posting for all the wrong reasons.
Not everyone will have an energy that meshes with yours. The joy of social media is that the people who do resonate and like your posts are your tribe of people that you want and need in your life.
Validation will always come from within. One human or one like should never ever validate you. Social media in general should never be the standard of validation. If you are 100% true to yourself in what you are doing with your life then that right there is the ONLY validation you will ever need. Stay true to yourself and what you believe in and the quality of likes will most certainly follow.