When people say “that’s so basic” or “stop being basic”, it’s automatically perceived as a negative thing. If you haven’t heard of the term, let me enlighten you as to why its an awesome thing to be basic.
I tried to get to know him, but after I spent 10 minutes with him, I realized he was too basic for me to waste time on.
Is there anything unique or special about her? I have a feeling she’s pretty basic…
He’s probably the dumbest person on earth. Too basic to even carry on a semi-intelligent conversation.
I cannot deal with basic people. I get so frustrated by their basicness!
When we run away from the stereotype and let our personal insecurities that someone else has ignited within us creep in, it takes away all of our source power away. If you are always portray yourself as polished, intellectual, ego centric and judgmental then you are the stereotypical self-absorbed being. I hate to break this to you but you are not above being basic. When we pretend to be something we are not, it depletes your source power leaving you unfulfilled and unbalanced.
Once you embrace your inner basicness, you can start looking inward and start embracing other areas of insecurities. embrace the basic and let go of the judgement. This is a great read on looking inward. It’s a nice addition to your self-healing and awareness library.
Pretty safe to say that we have all held grudges at some time or another. The past three years of my life healing journey, I have learned how to let all that sh** go. To even begin to understand how to let a grudge go, you must first understand what a grudge really is.
What is a grudge?
When someone hurts or betrays us, we automatically throw an energetic armor wall up. We are hurt that we allowed ourselves to open up unconditionally and in the end was let down by someone. You vow to never allow that to happen again and often will find that you will replay the situation over and over only to get more hurt by the thoughts that you put in your own mind about it. When you continue to think about the situation over and over, you begin to develop a resentment towards that person or persons.
What are the lasting effects of a grudge?
If you feel that you can’t forgive someone because it gives them the permission to have treated you badly, you actually are affecting your future relationships. You will bring anger, bitterness and mistrust into your other relationships. Forgiveness is the most powerful action that you can give yourself. When you forgive, you are releasing all control that the person or situation holds on you. If you choose to continue to hold those grudges, you will find that inner peace will never fully be achieved.
How do I forgive?
First you need to understand that when you forgive someone, you are not forgiving their actions or that you should pretend that it never happened. You also do not have to tell the person that they are forgiven or even include them in your daily life. You can’t pretend as though it never happened either. Acknowledge how you felt about it and how it made you react. In order to forgive, you need to acknowledge the something happened and how you felt about it. You don’t have to tell the person directly that they are forgiven, you can say “I forgive you” out loud or write it on a piece of paper then burn it.
A great exercise that I use and tell my clients to do is to write a letter to that person. You never have to send it to them but it really helps you articulate your feelings and get them out of your head. Some psychotherapists will have you use both hands to write two different letters. It has a lot to do with how your brain function and releasing some form of control. While I was on my life healing journey this was a practice that I used and wrote tons of letters. Once you start writing things out you can go even deeper than the initial pain that was caused.
Is it just about that person?
The exercise that I did countless times on my journey was to evaluate why I was still holding on to the anger. It sounds super easy, but it forces you to go all the way to the center of your being.
- Write the person who initially hurt you down on a piece of paper. Then write about the pain that was caused and how you felt or feel. This is a really important step of the exercise. Don’t get caught up in the actual offense, only the feeling that you feel and where and how you are affected
- Think back to a time that you felt the same way or at least similar to the feeling that you felt when you were hurt by the person that you have a grudge against.
- Reflect on those feelings and how many times that you remember feeling the way that you feel now against the person you are holding a grudge. You want to be able to forgive to break that cycle in case someone else is hurting you and you going to the familiar place of that pain.
- Forgive the original culprit of the source of familiar pain. This allows the grudge that you are currently holding to lose a lot of the power that it has on you.
Everyone should meditate even if they are not angry or holding a grudge. I look at meditation and preventative alternative medicine. So many people wait til they are stressed to meditate then they can’t because they are so stressed. Breathing and meditation exercise are shown to have an amazing effect on your body. This is a good read on the Huffington Post on the health benefits of meditation. Some people find unguided meditation to be very difficult. I use an app called Calm on my cell phone or iPad, you can click here to read more about the app and download it. It is a free download, but I would highly recommend the paid version of the app. This is the app that I use and have used for years.
It is NOT easy but you have to let that sh** go
Forgiving and finding a place of zen is a daily practice that you will honestly work on for the rest of your life. It does get a lot easier and you are allowed to be hurt and angry, but you are not allowed to stay there. If you have a good support system you will always need to lean on them. Find your tribe and cultivate those relationships. You can’t be at a hundred percent in your other relationships if you are holding on to anger and grudges. It truly is in your best interest to let that sh** go.
What is plant-based living?
I could not be happier to be a plant-based vegan. So many people think that going plant based is a diet or something temporary for weight loss. When you become plant based, understand that if you commit to it then it will be a way of living.
I have been vegetarian for many years and wanted to one day become fully vegan. When I contracted the H.Pylori bacteria in my stomach last summer, I was forced to make some dietary changes to alleviate the acid in my stomach to assist the antibiotics in eradicating the bacteria. While I would never ever wish that upon anyone, it did force me to eat the way that I have always wanted to eat for many years. It’s very simple to understand what you should eliminate from your old way of eating.
You eat whole foods and avoid animal-based products, including meat, dairy, and eggs. You should also look out for anything processed as best that you can. You can enjoy veggies, fruit, whole grains, beans, legumes, nuts, and seeds.
I personally have taken plant-based a few steps farther for myself and have become gluten-free, soy free , coffee and alcohol free and I am acid free. I started out being really strict because of the bacteria however, I have found that I LOVE that way of eating.
Isn’t it boring?
NO!! I was such a huge cheese eater when I was vegetarian that I was pretty sure that if you ever said I would eliminate that from my diet I would have bet you a lot of money that it would never happened. I do NOT miss cheese at all! I didn’t even have a withdrawal period or anything. It’s crazy how when you start eating plant-based that you really don’t have cravings for anything that isn’t good for your system. I eat sweet stuff like coconut sugar, dates, plant-based desserts and a lot of cocoa. I also follow a ton of vegan Instagram accounts, Twitter, blogs and YouTube channels for yummy recipes and ideas. I can not believe that I have not had any pizza in over 7 months and don’t even want it!
Is plant-based for me?
I fully believe that you should do whatever you feel is right for you I am not one to push my agenda onto everyone, but I am a huge advocate for plant-based living. I think it all depends if you feel as though plant-based living is something that you want to commit to. I have attached a link plant-based living for beginners here. I would highly encourage you to see if the benefits of going plant-based is something that resonates with you.
Don’t think of it as a diet
If you are debating on this awesome change, make sure that you are doing it as a lifestyle change and not a diet. Have I lost weight? Yes I have lost about 13 pounds in about 7 months. You will lose weight because you are getting rid of a lot of foods that are not good for your body. I did not start or continue eating this way because of weight loss. I will not go back to eating anything other than plant-based because it really works for me. I love the fact too that I am not consuming animal products. I am a huge animal lover and advocate so that is yet another great reason for me to remain plant based.
A little something to get you started
I have attached my vlog for two recipes that I love! I will be doing more recipes as time goes on. I do not follow any specific plan or recipe to be honest. I love tasty food and spices so I make sure to not eat bland food. I kinda just wing it and go by my taste buds. All you have to do is click the picture below and it will take you directly to the vlog on YouTube. Make sure to subscribe to the blog and the vlog for future recipes and tips for living a balanced mind, body and spirit lifestyle.
The one small sentence blog title is actually a very complicated thing to digest. We are all guilty of trying to compete in some fashion with other people. This is especially true for our fitness goals. I will be the very first person to tell you that for years I have always looked at someone on tv or in real life that I wanted to emulate. In theory this can be inspirational and healthy. The problem becomes when you decide that unless you look like that, you are actually failing at your personal goals.
Your goals are yours and only yours
Time, age, dedication and true desire is where you want to start your personalized goal. My body will never be in the same shape that it was when I was 20, and that was actually something that I struggled with myself. In my mind I know that at 47 and so many hormonal changes and kids that there are aspects of my body that will never be the same. I am now embracing them proudly. If you continue to look to the past for your fitness and health goals as something that is attainable now, you will often get discouraged and bitter.
If you look at others as competition and not inspiration then you will never be able to set attainable goals for yourself. We all have some sort of end goal for our fitness, we just may all take different directions to get there. The only competition that you have is you and your doubt.
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WATCH THE VLOG! You just have to click the thumbnail below 🙂
Stop being so serious!
As a grown woman with countless responsibilities and duties, I know how important it is to take the time to just act silly. As we grow older and the fun and games are minimal, we often forget how to laugh and mean it. I am not telling you to shrug off your responsibilities, however I am telling you to incorporate some laughter and fun. You can not continue to be serious and stressed without the break or you will absolutely break.
Stop worrying about what people think!!!!
If I could write a blog on this everyday I would! So many of us go through life and think that we HAVE to act a certain way. I mean seriously STOP IT!! If you can’t let off some steam and be silly without someone judging you, then you totally need to rethink whatever situation you’re in and fast. First of all, regardless of how much you try to adhere to a certain expectation there will always be people who will judge you. You and only you are responsible for your happiness PERIOD. If you want to go to a park and swing at the age of 50 then do it. If you want to go skydiving then do it. Live your life with joy and wear that like a crown.
Don’t judge yourself
If you think that you are too old to do something then you are. You are, and will always be the biggest judge in your life. Create a day, week, month or year of yes. This means that you can’t say no to anything (legal and safe) anyone asks you to do. This means go to a waterpark, amusement park, play in the rain, go dancing, travel to someplace you typically wouldn’t go, roller skate, swim, play in the sand and just about anything else in reason. It doesn’t always have to incorporate money either. Last time I checked, building a snowman and being buried in sand is free. The only hurdle you have is you. If you are in a medical situation where you can’t be so active and travel, then watch old cartoons, do a puzzle and download snapchat and make videos with funny filters. There are so many ways to be silly and weird.
Watch the video!
Click on the picture below and give yourself about seven minutes to take a peak into me taking my own advice and being silly. All of the people I have around me all have a silly side. Find a great groups of friends and family that will bring the weird out of you!
In our lifetime we will have several relationships that will teach us, heal us, hurt us, love us, and ultimately complete us. The main source of our relationships need to always start with you as the border. We need to love ourselves and understand what type of pieces that we need to fill the center of our puzzle.
Stop Thinking One Person Completes You
This is something that at some point of our lives, we all fall victim to. We meet someone and think “This person completes me”. Well that could NOT be farther from the truth. You need a full on tribe to help piece this life puzzle together. This applies to any and all relationships. Friendships are some of the hardest puzzles to put together. They all look so colorful and pretty, but that does not mean that they belong in your puzzle.
When you were first learning to put together a puzzle, you had two pieces that you were pretty sure fit only to find out that it was really close to being a fit but it wasn’t. Ugg now you have to continue looking for the piece that actually does fit there. This can be daunting and should never be done as a job. People often look to other people to complete the puzzle before the border (YOU) is even put together. STOP LOOKING!
You Can’t Make It Fit!
Just because you think a piece is pretty and like the design, does not mean that you can file it down to make it fit in an empty space. It may fit in the beginning, but you will always wonder when that piece will fall out or mess up the rest of the puzzle. When you like something you can admire it and examine it. You can try to see if it fits in a few different places in the puzzle but in the end, it may just not belong there. That doesn’t mean you didn’t like it, it just means that it isn’t meant for that specific life puzzle.
It May Be Hidden
I remember doing puzzles and looking high and low for a piece. I would look over and over and try a million pieces. I would look under the table or think that they never put it in the box. I may take a break and come back to it a few days later and almost immediately find the piece I was looking for. It was there the whole time, right under my nose. We are often looking for something so hard that we are overlooking the piece that belongs there. Slow down, and if needed just take a step back. Stop looking so hard.
In life, it can take years and years to complete your puzzle. Sometimes you may even decide to just start a brand new one. Once you feel as though its perfect for you , keep in mind that from time to time pieces do fall out. When that happens gently pick it up and slide it back in the spot where it belongs. This will happen! In any relationship you will come unconnected. Give your life puzzle some undivided attention and from time to time readjust the pieces so they are all in sync.
Watch The Vlog
Our journey is made up of many components and variations throughout our entire lifetime. Often, on the journey we allow others to cross the boundaries and merge into our lane. This can be a great learning tool as long as you do actually learn from it. Lets look at this as though we are driving a car. If you are driving and you see a solid yellow, white or any other color line you know NOT to cross that line, so why don’t we follow the laws of that in our own personal lives?
The first thing you need to do is actually set whatever boundaries you think you need in your life at that time. These boundaries may change throughout your lifetime which is perfectly fine as long as you keep them in check and solid. Why would you follow the law on the road but not in your life? We always allow people or situations to cross that solid line without consequence. This is toxic to your energy and often makes you second guess if the lines should even be there in the first place.
Proceed With Caution
Ohhh this one is a bit tricky. You want to have an open lane and allow trust from people to be able to exist in your lane with you and safely travel together. These caution boundaries are absolutely necessary for people who have betrayed your trust and friendship, but you aren’t sure if you don’t ever want them in your life again. This is where it really takes a lot of meditation, prayer, grounding work and trust to establish how you want to rebuild that relationship. This applies to any and all relationships such as marriage, friendship and family. It’s really tough for someone to earn back that trust, and often the relationship is never like it once was. This is not always a bad thing. Often from whatever hurtful feelings you experiences it can sometimes strengthen that original bond. So again, proceed with caution.
Free To Pass
This is the lane we want to strive for. This is where we have our close relationships and trust that those relationships can freely ride with you and pass you if need be. These are the relationships that you truly can rely on. If you’re struggling to stay a float that day or week, then they can pass you and you can ride in their draft giving you a bit of help and easing your ride a bit. Not everyone belongs in this lane! Quantity of relationships are so irrelevant and the free to pass lanes should never ever be extended to all of your relationships. Quality in the relationships are the very special ones that you can open those lanes up to.
Sometimes We Just Need To Exit
This one is the toughest one of all in my opinion. You are driving on an open lane, passing each other with trust an ease. You drive around the country, over hills, turns and open road. You are just a free spirit building a great relationship. Then, something terrible happens and you have a horrible accident in that relationship. All parties are mangled and hurt and often beyond repair. Depending on the situation, I would encourage you to go to the proceed with caution path first. This is not always the way to go and sometimes you just need to exit. Exiting can be so hard and often you yearn for the free road that you once had in that relationship. You can’t get those days back and if you are to ever get them back you MUST proceed with caution first.
Use Roadside Assistance!
I love this one soooo much. On the road if you breakdown you call roadside assistance. Most of the time, these are strangers that come and jumpstart your battery or help in some other kinda way. Sometimes, we find exactly what we need from new people who enter our lives. Don’t be afraid to open up to someone who you may not ever have known otherwise to help you get through whatever tough time you are having. This comes in many forms; life healers, therapist, new friends, nature, higher power and most importantly YOU! Some situations force you to look inward and see that you had the tools all along.
Your Life, Your Lane, Your Road
This life that you are living is simply a road that does eventually end. You will have open road, winding road, do not pass lanes, open lanes and sometimes dead ends. It can be a crazy ride till you get to your final destination. Sometimes you need to stay in your lane and figure our what the next turn in your life is. Those are great times to throw those solid lines down. If you see people coming across those lines, you need to remind them to stay in their own lane. This is YOUR roadmap so make sure that you are not comparing or trying to mimic a roadmap of someone else.
The journey of all of our lives is to find our inner peace. Inner peace is something that is not defined by just one thing, or even a set amount of things. Each stage of your life will present different things that contribute to that inner peace. When I was in my twenties, I can honestly say that health and wellness was not the tip-top of the list to find my inner peace.
The key to going through this roller coaster we call life is to always reevaluate what makes you feel whole. So many people get stuck in a “rut” for years and years only to find that when they want to find that peace, they have no idea where to even start.
If you look at what Wikipedia says that inner peace is, you will see that the journey is ever-changing and will continue the entire time that you are on this planet.
Where to start?
I always tell everyone to do a vision board or at least write out the things that actually make you feel good. Nothing is too small, but it does need to be as defined as you can make it. You don’t ever use words like happy or peaceful. You want to be really careful using the words stress free as well. The universe and your brain cannot decipher what those words mean. Those are blanket words that are otherwise empty without extreme intent. When you are setting your goals be specific!
Set Realistic And Defined Goals
As mentioned above, you want to be specific as well as realistic. Don’t make lofty goals that will hinder your forward progress. If your goal is to own your own business for example, you want to start with a plan. So when extending that out to the universe, you can’t just say things like “own my own business”. What kind of business? What do you want out of the business? Will you be a LLC or a corporation? Will you need to get investors? If you do, how will you get them? What will the profit-sharing be? Those are ALL things you want to put down answers to.
YOU ARE YOUR OWN INNER PEACE
I have been working really hard at finding my own inner peace. The age of fifty is only two and a half years away for me. I have a goal to be the most balanced I have ever been in my life. I will say that I do feel the most balanced I ever have been before, but there are still a few goals I would like to meet to get there. I am embracing more of the alternative and asian practices.
Watch the Vlog!
I do a vlog every Monday about something positive. I try to bring you something that will help you on your journey. I want to share with you my wonderful aerial yoga experience. I am in the mindset these days of just doing whatever I can to achieve my own inner peace, while hopefully giving you some tools to add to your tool box.
Click the Pic below for the Vlog!
Ok, lets be honest here for a second. Yes that is me with a great filter to show my true sparkle. The last few weeks I have been in a bit of a funk. Nothing too crazy, but between my stomach being still blah (6 months now), and my recent skin cancer removal I have just been blah. Perhaps the weather has something to do with it but that is not an excuse to be in a funk. I have felt unmotivated at home and just out of sorts.
I truly do live my life as positive and drama/stress free as humanly possible. Every one of my social media platforms will 99% of the time be something positive about the mind, body and spirit. I have had several clients tell me how they wish they could be so positive all the time like I am. Let me be really clear about how I live my daily life to at least appear to be farting glitter.
I know that the world is filled with sadness, depression, stress, betrayal, and just all around crappy things. Most of our daily lives have some level of stress to them and I don’t care how positive you live, you can’t make others live that way or situations just magically change. I will drill this in your head so much this year that you will have no choice then to at least once in a while be content.
My daily farting glitter affirmations
You have got to convince yourself that you are awesome. Every morning I start with a prayer, then I send all my gratitude to the universe. I follow that u with affirmations that I am fu**ink amazing. It doesn’t matter if you really believe that at first but you will if you keep stating it over and over again.
Before I even consider getting out of bed I remind myself that every pound, wrinkle, cellulite, flaw and anything else I may be feeling is all part of what makes me so awesome. I don’t give a damn if you have to write 1000 sticky notes throughout the house, remind yourself of this!
Stop focusing on the negatives and negative situations and think of how you can react and protect yourself from those situations. I realize that sounds way easier said then done, but then again if you think you can’t do it well…..then you probably can’t.
No-one really cares if your in a bad mood or throwing a pity party for yourself. People are often great with you when you are great but will scatter when your out of sorts #FACT. So don’t worry about other peoples opinions of anything you do, as long as your not hurting anyone. You and ONLY you are in control of your happiness . I seriously CANNOT stress this to you enough. One human cannot make another human happy. That is not to say that you can’t have friends, kids and spouses that enhance your life, but they are absolutely not responsible for your happiness in any way shape or form. You need to re-evaluate your life on a constant basis so you know and like who you are on the inside.
Surround with positivity
If it is in your control and not positive then let that sh*t go! Yes I mean that! Stop letting other people or situations rent space in your head! There will always be critics. Let these critics motivate you! Half the time the critics that you have you are allowing to fuel the biggest critic you will ever have and that is you. STOP IT!
Yes I was in a funk, but you better believe I have since pulled myself out of that. I have embedded my YouTube on my week for you to watch. I would encourage you to watch it if you have 13 minutes to spare in your day.
Be a unicorn, fart glitter, wear a crown, be a princess, be a king, be a goddess, be strong, be confident, be amazing, be incredible, be sincere, be true, be smart, be funny, and most of all BE TRUE TO YOURSELF!
As I sit here writing this blog, I am preparing to once again get a basal Cell Carcinoma removed from by body. I should start by saying that while I am very diligent about wearing my sunscreen and protecting my skin, I wasn’t always this diligent. When I was a small child right up through my mid thirties I would tan outside and from time to time in the tanning beds. When I became pregnant with my daughter at 35 it was like a switch flipped and I became super aware of my skin. I actually became super aware of health.
I had my son at 25 and made sure he had sun screen, but I am very pale and thought that being tan made me look healthier. I tried the lotions and the spray tans but nothing looked as good as a nice brown hue kissed from the sun.
Society said so
When I was growing up (OMG I sound like one of THOSE old people), I was so pale that I was called Casper and later Powder (Older movie). If I didn’t have color I was made fun of and teased horribly. Society basically depicted that tanning made you look amazing and gave you a healthy glow. Now when I hear anyone say how healthy they feel when they tan, I literally cringe.
Millennial know better
It is always funny when I hear people talk about how clueless the millennial are today. I think every generation looks at the next generation as though they have a million short comings. Millennials are way more aware of health at a younger age then the older generations ever were. It is awesome to see how people are taking care of their overall health and their skin. Your skin is such an important part of you that is often overlooked.
I want to be tan though
I would be a total liar if I told you that I don’t like to have a little color. There are issues that people have with lotions and spray tanning as far as the coloring and the smell, it is a chemical after all. My awesome dermatologist even says to get the sun on your skin for at least 15 minutes. It is a great way to get the natural vitamin D that you need while giving you a little bit of a tint.
Sunscreen is a must
I love the stuff! I wear 50 SPF and have worn even higher SPF. There are a lot of experts that will tell you that after 30 SPF there is no additional benefit to having a higher SPF. Even if that is true, I am taking no chances and will always go for the highest that I can find that is not animal tested.
GO GET A SKIN CHECK
Dermatologists are often booked out for a few months for new clients, so make sure to make the call soon to get in by spring. Its not scary at all, but they will usually make you disrobe and put on a gown so they can check your entire body and scalp.
Monitor changes in your moles
We all have moles or blemishes somewhere on our body. If you see a change in any of your moles, make sure to get in asap to get it checked.
For More Information, view my video below!